I probably need to post here more. I have been absent from it for 4 months. This has been 4 months of struggle and change. I realize however that I need to draw back to God. I have not attended a church service in 3 months. I am confused about where God fits into my life. I have been living with my parents in Sebastopol for the last 4 months and during this time, I have made many new friends. These friends however do not know God. They pursue to party and have a good time. And I actually have discovered that I love this life too. I have laughed more and had more fun than I have had at home in a long time. My favorite things are karaoke at a local bar on Tuesday nights and Wednesday night poker at friends house in Petaluma. I still feel like something is missing. Is it God? I also have ended a two year 9 month relationship with Brett. We were going off in different directions and I felt like I was being pulled. I was beginning to struggle with staying faithful to him. I felt like a failure. I wanted to be with him in certain aspects, but in other aspects I felt as if our relationship was more of a friendship. long distance can be hard but I realized that this was not the only reason that we were drifting so I told him that I need a break from him and time to clear my head. So I still sit here. Clearing my head and trying to find what is missing. I also have the stress of not having a place to live in Redding. I thought that I had a place locked down but it also failed. So I have to start all over again and school starts in 2 weeks.
:(
Darla
