December 28th, 2008

Thoughts from the unwanted
Current mood: lonely

Sometimes guys just make me SO upset. Not all of them but some of them. I hate mixed signals and I hate being led on to believe things that aren't true. Like don't tell me that you think that I am really hot and do things with me that you do with someone that you like or are interested in. AND tell me to call you and that we should hang out. AND then not call or text me back when I do exactly what you said. Let me know the truth right off the bat. Don't lead me on to believe that maybe things can work out if thing were better when we both know that they can't. Don't tell me it is all cause you are a nice guy and you didn't know. Apologies are taken with conditions. You will never have my full trust or really be my friend because you screwed up.

This message is kinda directed at one person right now. But it is not the first time that something similar has happened to me. So it is kinda a message to all the assholes out there that are faking that they are nice guys. For instance, if there is no chemistry then tell me or make it obvious. Be a jerk if you have to be. I will actually have more respect for a guy that doesn't lead me on. But I also have no respect for a guy that continues to be an asshole to my friends and I way after the fact.

Lately, I have felt wanted by some people but very very unwanted by other people. I am not sure how I am handling this whole being single thing. It is hard for me. I know I am probably being selfish but I want to be loved again. It is the greatest feeling in the world. I have never handled rejection very well and to have it happen over and over and over again. SUCKS! I guess it is life and it happens and I have to deal. But guys are really just starting to piss me off. So this is to all the assholes that I have had to deal with lately. I am sure that none of them will read this either cuz none of them care enough about me to read my blogs. But good riddance anyways.

Another 2 am blog

I kinda get the urge to write these at weird times in the morning. Like 1 or 2 am. I am weird like that. CRAZY! I kinda have been blogging back on myspace again. I know I said that it was only for poetry but there are some blogs on there now that probably belong over here... I will repost them on here for sure. Anyways... So life has been going okay. Last time that I wrote was the day before the river rafting.. it was pretty amazing and I made some new friends. we got to kill each other with water guns... And our raft was the pirate raft and we stole like two ores from the other raft... ah ha. victories. Rarr. Ya I was on a raft with 6 guys so that was pretty cool for me.
Hmm so the next week. I was sick and I missed out on 2 school days. ick.
Oh then that weekend. I saw Torn Kashmere in Corning. Brett, Jennie, and James rocked it as usual. There was two other cool bands worth mentioning Save and Continue and One Dying Secret. I kinda made friends with the dudes from Save and Continue. They wanted us to go hang with them at the Corning casino but my friend Erin and I went to LOST in Chico instead. Which totally sucked. I should have stayed in Corning.
School is going alright so far... I am getting a little overloaded cuz I was sick and all that. But I think I will come out of that okay.
This weekend on Friday I went to a BBQ at the Hayes' house... It was more like a George Foreman grill-aque... lol. It was fun though. Beth and I met this guy from Simpson named Tom.
She gave him her number so he can go to our Life Group. Oh ya Life Group is my small group through my church the Stirring. :)
Saturday was the Myriad concert. I went all by myself this time. I stood right in the front row and it was an amazing show. The Myriad has yet to disappoint me, but I don't get disappointed easily either. It was still amazing though... :)
Tonight was the last night of a series at my church the Stirring... We Love. We Make Disciples. I got a shirt that says we love... I have pics on here and my myspace and my facebook. So go check it out.
Much love friends
Darla
addition... I forgot to say this... After the Stirring tonight, Beth and I got like 15 cards from the Stirring and we put them on people's doors in our townhouse complex. But that is just the beginning.. We plan on showing God's love to these people every day from now on... No more running inside. We also met our new neighbors that moved in across from us and gave them cards.

what i want in my future husband!

Out of recent frustrations, I am writing this blog to tell the world what I want in my future husband. I hope I can find a guy that is actually like this. LOL.

Physically: I am a sucker for blue eyes. I like blondes. I am also a sucker for tall dark and handsome. If a guy is skinner than me, it scares me a little but I was with one for 3 years so it is alright. Just know that I will try and make them fatter. Or buffer... of course I like muscle. The height has to be between 5'6" and 6'3". I like guys that keep me warm and safe. :)

Spiritually: Must love Jesus. It is a requirement. I have dated guys that didn't and it just caused so many problems. I couldn't stand it. However, I hate judgemental Christians. Everyone sins even me... And I will not be judged based on my sins. I want to be judged based on my love for God and my personality and character as a person. I love everyone despite their sins. And I don't judge people. I can't be with someone that does. It is not in my character.

Personality: He has to be funny. A sense of humor is a must. No squareness. You gotta have fun. I am pretty goofy and silly. So the guy has to be like that too but know when to be serious. I talk a lot so he must be a good listener and advice giver. Has to have a brain and use it.

Job/Responsibility: He must have a good job or be in school to get a good job, but I will not marry him til he is done with school. Must be responsible. The husband is supossed to provide for the family. This takes maturity. Like I said before he can act silly all he wants but has to be serious when required.

No fake people. No players. No guys that just want to get in my pants. No idiots. No cocky guys. No losers.

Ya I am a little specific on what I want. And they guy that I marry might not meet all those requirements. But I hope that I find him someday. :) later

moving on

I was just thinking today about a person that I cried over for years. How could I have been so dumb and so blind? It was all a game and I was caught up in it. He has revealed his games to me. I think it is funny that we are still friends too. For years, I would hate him and curse him and say that guy is a jerk. Somehow I was able to forgive him. Somehow I was able to move on. I don't even feel guilty about the past anymore. I carried it around with me for years like a crutch. He hurt me so much that I was afraid to love anyone or give myself that fully to someone ever again. And somehow I was able to find that love again. And I think even though Brett and I are broken up now. I am able to heal over that much faster because of this experience that happened to me before. I have realized that I can't hold on to hurt and pain forever. Sometimes we just need to let it go. I mean I was like depressed over this for 2 years. I tried to pretend that I was happy and okay but I wasn't. I had cried so much while I was actually with him that when everything went bad and wrong. I couldn't even cry anymore. I didn't cry for an entire year even though there were moments that I want to cry really badly. And because of that I had to tell everyone how much pain that I was in. People heard me curse him 100 times even though I was certain that I was over it and I had forgiven him. Of course, all this hurt and pain that I was carrying around meant nothing to him. I had to realize that what he thought didn't matter. It was between me and God. I thought that it was impossible to forgive him and I swore to myself that I would never speak to him ever again. We were more the same when we actually dated except I had more Christian values than he did. I was able to say no to and draw a line. My line wasn't defined though and things that I was unsure about doing that didn't cross the final line ended up hurting me greatly. Because I knew that everything that we did was out of lust and not out of love. I wanted to love him but we had become to different. He hated Christians and he hated God. He could cheat on his girlfriend 50 times and not even think twice about it. I didn't need a guy like that but I still wanted him. Physical attraction is a hard thing to get past. I mean even know after all that has happened and how much I hated him for years. I still can't be in a room alone with him. I don't agree with anything that he stands for but I can't be alone with him either. I am so glad that I have finally realized all this and it is really sad that it took me almost 5 years to come to these conclusions about him. I know that he is a player and a jerk to girls but we have been able connect as friends too. We are so different too. But I am different than alot of my friends. And I still know how to keep him at a distance. I have to remind myself daily about what we have been talking about at the Stirring. How we love everyone. Even those who stabbed us in the back. I have no idea how I am doing it either, but I must be crazy and I am. Wow that was a lot of rambling but I felt like I needed to say it and isn't that what blogs are for.

I should be sleeping.....

I hate not being able to sleep. But what am I gonna do about it. bang my head at the wall til I knock myself out. My cousin used to do that to fall asleep. lol. It is really weird. No one should take what I say in my blogs too seriously by the way. Especially if they are written at 1 am. I have no idea what I will say so that is some sort of warning. My last two blogs were a little depressing so I am gonna look on the light side today. So what has been going on in the world of Darla. Well, on Thursday night Julie and I went to the bar at the Red Lion hotel and sang some karaoke. That was fun! Well I sang karaoke. I mean.... (cough cough). I will have to go back sometime and reprise my role as the cheerleader for the old man playing pool. lol. no really... he wanted me to cheer for him. ya... anyways so today was pretty dull beside the BBQ at the Miller's house for the Stirring. I saw some new faces and some old ones and made awkward conversation and normal conversation. I don't do well in situations like that sometimes. Small talk bothers me sometimes. I kinda wish that I had more friends around here though so I wouldn't have to show up at a BBQ and hang out with people that I don't know that well. But the purpose was to make new friends. I am either really good at that or really bad at that. I was really good at it over the summer for some reason. I have always had a harder time connecting in Redding maybe I am still out of my comfort zone here or something. who knows? Well tomorrow Brett and Jesse and I are going river rafting on the American River. I am glad that Brett and I are working on the friend thing. We will see how it goes but I am excited about going rafting. yay! well I have to get up really early. so goodnight world. BTW God is awesome!

Friends, Morality, and Me (ranting)

• Okay seems like my last blog caused some controversy. I am not saying that a girl who as never had a boyfriend can't be my friend. I am just saying that she is not like me. I am friends with lots of different people. I actually like having friends that are different than me. But the feeling that I was feeling was that I want someone here in Redding that is the same as me. Someone who feels comfortable walking into a bar and will sing karaoke with me. I didn't mean to offend those that won't do that. I like to do that so I want other friends that will do the same things as me and have had similar experiences. I am not trying to be a downer on those who haven't. Just like my non-Christian friends aren't trying to change me into the ultimate party girl. They know that I am not that girl and they respect me for that. I have beliefs and morals too, but I know that I am not as strict as some people. I have lines that I won't cross and I have lines that I said that I wouldn't cross that I did cross. And I actually have no shame in admitting that. I live my life by my rules and not anyone elses rules. I really don't like rules actually. But I stick to morals that are important to me. I know someone is gonna say that I can't pick and choose biblical rules or something. I am not saying that I do. For one thing, there is nothing in the bible to go off for dating. Christian rules for dating are made up by the church. And I know that getting drunk is "bad". I am not gonna say that it isn't bad. I just can think of a lot more worse things that I could do that I have never done. So I don't consider myself a bad person just cuz I drink from time to time. I haven't drank alcohol in 2 weeks and I am actually really proud of myself for that. I am gonna think about what I am doing now to make myself a better person and not what I did a month ago. But what I did a month ago or 2 months ago has shaped me into who I am today. I am not gonna deny that I am different because of it. I am just different that what surrounds me. I know that everyone sins and someone is gonna say that you can't rate the degree of sin. And that everyone has shortcomings. Okay but my experiences are still different from yours. Just like a drug addict, sex addict, or alcoholic has had different experiences from me. I am not rating sin. I am just saying that people have different life experiences. So the "Belonging" blog was about wanting someone that I can connect to on a deeper level because we have had similar experiences. Like if you have never had a boyfriend, there is no way that you can relate to the fact that I have had 5 boyfriends and various hook-ups with guys. And that I just got out of a 3 year relationship. No one can relate to that unless they have been there.
• Disclaimer: This blog is in no way meant for anyone specific. I have many friends that haven't had the same experiences as me.
  

Belonging

Have you ever felt like you don't really belong with any group of people? I kinda feel that way right now. Guilt settles in to a point were I almost feel like I have done too many bad things to be a part of some Christian circles. I mean I am not this cookie cutter Christian that does everything right. I am just not. I have had too many short comings and mishaps to feel connected to another girl that has never had a boyfriend and always does the right thing. I hear these girls say things like that they are never gonna get married or wait until they are really serious with a guy to even kiss him. Man I wish I was in that spot. But I can't be. And I feel almost sinful just for thinking that. Because their ideas sound so perfect and mine sound flawed. Then on the other end I don't fit in with these girls that are waiting for the next party and the next hook up. Sex is okay and encouraged. Over the summer I was trying to be that girl too. It never really clicked though. God is still a huge part of my life, but I am nowhere near perfect either. Can anyone out there identify? Does anyone else feel caught in the middle of two completely different world, but can't relate to either? Is anyone on my side?

welcome to Redding

Well I made it to Redding. Safe and sound with a roof over my head. It was a little crazy trying to look for a place to live. I tried the whole search on craigslist thing and I came across an amazing house with a pool and everything. And I really wanted to live there and I got turned down for a girl that lives in New Zealand that is going to Bethel. Okay? And she had never even been there and my mom and I drove 4 hours to see the place. crazy? and then we went to Simpson and looked at postings on the board in the mailroom. And we called one on a whim and showed up at her door 10 minutes later. This girl named Beth with 2 dogs in a small townhouse. But i wanted to look some more so I called other numbers and later that week I made a 2nd trip to Redding to view two more places. And I really liked one of them. Seemed like I could fit in with these girls but I guess they didn't seem to think that I could fit in with them. :( So I called Beth whose place that I saw earlier in the week. And she said "yes". woo just in time. A week before school started. So I moved in on September 1st. It has been pretty cool here so far. Cool roommate. cool dogs. Beth and I have been going to the Stirring the last 2 weeks. Wow this is what I was missing. I missed church so much. I went over 3 months without any church or God connection. I still prayed sometimes but I was involved in other things that were holding me back from really connecting with God. Parties are fun for a moment and they sucked me in for sure. But there was no real fulfillment. The single life was a life were I was just waiting for the next hook up to keep me satisified. I had to get so drunk that I would just hook up with anyone. I was drowning. I kinda feel like moving to Redding saved me. And even when I do go back home and hang out with those friends, I feel like I can be a stronger person. Because without that connection with God, I am nothing. I don't even feel like I need a guy right now. It is kinda lonely. I mean I was in a relationship for a long time so I got used to having someone. But right now I am focusing my energy on God and not the fun that the world offers. (Hopefully this attitude will last through the week. it is Sunday. doubt always enters)
Darla

new updates

I probably need to post here more. I have been absent from it for 4 months. This has been 4 months of struggle and change. I realize however that I need to draw back to God. I have not attended a church service in 3 months. I am confused about where God fits into my life. I have been living with my parents in Sebastopol for the last 4 months and during this time, I have made many new friends. These friends however do not know God. They pursue to party and have a good time. And I actually have discovered that I love this life too. I have laughed more and had more fun than I have had at home in a long time. My favorite things are karaoke at a local bar on Tuesday nights and Wednesday night poker at friends house in Petaluma. I still feel like something is missing. Is it God? I also have ended a two year 9 month relationship with Brett. We were going off in different directions and I felt like I was being pulled. I was beginning to struggle with staying faithful to him. I felt like a failure. I wanted to be with him in certain aspects, but in other aspects I felt as if our relationship was more of a friendship. long distance can be hard but I realized that this was not the only reason that we were drifting so I told him that I need a break from him and time to clear my head. So I still sit here. Clearing my head and trying to find what is missing. I also have the stress of not having a place to live in Redding. I thought that I had a place locked down but it also failed. So I have to start all over again and school starts in 2 weeks.
:(
Darla

Promotions of a few different things.

I decided not write a blog about myself, but rather promote some projects that are going on around and this cool band that I like.
Well one really cool thing that I personally have been doing is helping out with the Parkview Project in Redding for my Multicultural class, this includes tutoring about once a week afterschool. Even tho they can get on my nerves sometimes, I totally love it and am gonna miss working with them dearly. If you ever get the chance to tutor, you should totally do it.

Also I have been helping with the Stirring Kids since January and I am totally going to miss that too. If you are reading this and you live in Redding and don't go the Stirring. here is the website www.theStirring.org. And if you go to the Stirring, and are gonna be around for the summer, help out with the kids cuz it is way fun. I mean who doesn't love crafts and worshiping God with the kids.

Another thing that I wanna bring up is a project that my friend Will has decided to head up. It is called Help Super-Bat-Spiderman. I know that you are probably wondering who is Super-Bat-Spiderman. Well, his name is Nicolas Eaken and he is 4 years old and has Burkitt's lymphoma and has other physical and mental problems including Autism. His mom is a single mom of 4 boys and they lost their home in Healdsburg, CA (Sonoma County) to toxic mold last year. Nicolas and his mom are at the Ronald McDonald House in Sacramento, but are trying to transition back to Sonoma County. If you wanna help contact my friend, Will Southall, at his myspace http://www.myspace.com/noizemaker or email help_super_bat_spiderman@yahoo.com or call (707) 280-5427 or go to their myspace www.myspace.com/superbatspiderman_batmom.

Well another thing that is not a project at all is my boyfriend's band. They rock! I really think that they do and I am not just saying that cuz I am dating the drummer. They just recorded two tracks with John Miller a few weeks ago and they sound amazing. Go to www.myspace.com/tornkashmere to check them out.
Ok that is all for now folks. Bye Bye.
Darla

Hey hey

So I am not sure if anyone reads these due to the lack of comments in return... so the most recent cool fun stuff was the Myriad concert which was March 15th and Spring Break which was March 20th-30th. So the Myriad concert was freaking amazing!!! It is the best that I have ever heard them play. This is the 3rd concert of theirs that I have been too. And the first on was like almost 3 years ago or at the Stirring. Like way back in the day. HA. Anyways it seems like they are more famous now too considering that I was squished in line to get pictures/ autographs for awhile. Oh and the funniest part was when Brett got stuck under the stage at the concert. So I dropped my purse under the stage and I told Brett to go under the stage and get it and he got stuck and then an usher lady comes up right then... in trouble "uh Oh"... well he got out like 1 minute later but it was still pretty funny. And he didn't get my purse so I had to wait til after. Yay for the Myriad!! WOOT!
So Spring Break was pretty awesome.. my first night, we had a skate night fundraiser in Rohnert Park at Cal Skate for Nicholas who is a 4 year old boy with Burkitt's lymphoma :(. My friend Will knows him. Ben came to the skate night with me and we had fun skating in circles and watching him play DDR. I hope that we raised some money for Nicholas. :/ I am not sure cuz it was a small turn out. After the skate night, Jax and I went to Ben's house to play Rock Band... which was uber fun. I love Rock Band. The only part that I can do is the singing part, but oh well. I still love it.
Friday was church at Hope Chapel for Good Friday... it was pretty cool what Dan had to say about Jesus and stuff. I know I am being vague. But i did like the message. After, I talked some to Jeni C. who I haven't seen in forever. It was good to see her. Then I went to swing dancing! It was really boring at first and then Kevin F. came with friends and we danced and hung out... They invigorated me with energy that I didn't have earlier. Afterwards, we went to Carrow's until 1 am :). I miss times like that with people. It was good to have one again. It was funny Kevin brought up something about interrogating me or something because I am a Christian and then he just dropped it and didn't say anything. I was glad cuz I wasn't looking forward to a theological debate at such a late hour.
Saturday, I hung out with my family. Sunday, was Easter and we went to Chevy's for Easter lunch... my family is random with holidays some times... it wasn't a big deal this year.
Monday was College Group with the cool peoples from Sebastopol Christian Church. It was amazing cuz Brandon gave his testimony. He is so on fire for God now it was great to see and good to talk to him. He is such a different person than he was a few years ago. :)
I also got a new laptop on Monday cuz my dad broke my other one. :(.... Lame I know. ha.
Anywho Tuesday was nothing important... my bro came to visit on Wednesday. I am so proud of him. He is working so hard for the Oakland PD. Also my parents left for Vegas on Wednesday night.... well at midnight on March 27th :P.... On Wednesday, i also hung out with Ben again and we watched some Simpsons and played more Rock Band.
Thursday, I was woken up at 6:30 am by my cat... after going to bed at 1 or 2. :P So I had a major lack of sleep. I went to sushi that morning with Ben after playing some more Rock Band... then after the super good sushi at Tex Wasabi's, we went to the mall.
I was supposed to hang out with Bryce, but I never did. It was disappointing. But I am over it now. :P. I left on Friday for Orland and I hung with Brett. We also went and hung out in Chico on Saturday with Brett's bro and got some new/old stuff from the Pick N Pull for Brett's car. And only half of the stuff worked... then we went and got dinner at Olive Garden... :). And then we hung out at a "concert" that sucked with Justin... hmmm. Sunday was church and then off back to Redding... and this week I have been in Redding... I am getting shorter and shorter... ummm that doesn't make sense. I know. ok. bye. now.

Year of the Rat

I just realized that this blogspot thing informs me that I was born in the Zodiac- "Year of the Rat". I almost forgot. My brother called me 'rat' for about 10 years of my life because of that little fact. I am really glad that he doesn't call me that anymore. It really bothered me when I was little tho. I felt like he was saying that I look like a rat or act like one or am a rat. :( it wasn't fun. So I haven't been very good on keep up on this blog thing. I guess twice a week is better than very rarely like I did on myspace. But by the lack of comments on my last blog... I am assuming that no one is reading my blogs. I really am gonna have to post a bulletin on myspace.
A few things have gone on this week but I don't feel like explaining much. I gave an A+ team teaching presentation in Psych App. in Ed. and I went to Life Group last night and because of Sunday's message, we encouraged people. They didn't get around to Brett and I so we will be next week. Ok well thanks for reading my short ramblings...
later
Darla

This weekend

I still don't know if anyone is reading this blog. I will have to post on myspace again to remind people that I will not blog on myspace anymore unless it is poetry. Kinda nice to have things separate like that. Anyways so this weekend was pretty crazy. On Friday night, we hung out with some people. That was a lot of fun. Well first Jesse, Brett, and I hung out in Brett's room for open dorms and played Risk on Brett's comp. Brett totally won too. But I hung in there til the end. Then we went to Karissa's piano recital and she played beautifully on the piano. So after the recital, we were in H-3 hanging out and I was hanging with Jesse, Brett, Marissa, Katrina, and Melissa (the last 3 are new friends). So we came up with a song that has Jesse's full name cuz his last name is Duda u can probably imagine which song it is. Jesse Alexander Kumar Duda, Duda. Camp town ladies sing this song duda, duda. LOL. We had to wait like 20 minutes after we thought up the song to sing it tho cuz Jesse was blabbering to Mrs. Nichols (the piano professor). Then after the after recital party, Jesse, Brett, and I went back to Brett's room and we were gonna go to the lobby in his dorm, but some guys were playing "My Heart Will Go On" on the recorder and violin. It was very strange. so around 9:30 we went to the student lounge and met with Melissa and Katrina to play Canasta. Which is hard to learn... it took awhile. and then we were losing on the second round so we played king, queen, peon instead which was way more fun. and we joked with Jesse and Melissa about them and PDA which they weren't even touching each other. and Melissa insisted that Jesse had coodies. I haven't seen someone like freak out about a guy touching her since high school. I mean in a normal non-sheltered world-- people have relationships *gasp*... I guess most of the time she was joking but still come on.. it is college here not 3rd grade. so after that we played Scum and Katrina won... They got me out first and then the guys... and then Melissa.
On Saturday, we had the 80's prom in Brett's dorm. The same people I hung out with on Friday were there so that was cool. We rocked it 80's style. And had much fun dancing... oh ya and earlier that day it took me hours to find a $7 dress at a thrift store. lol. Jesse is a really crazy dancer.. like he goes and goes... I dance one song and then I am sitting down. So my hair was crazy crimped and I had these 80's sun glasses and a black dress with poofy sleeves and a bow on the waist. I looked hot. And then Brett wore my clothing. My 80's style Relient K shirt, my pants (that actually fit him), my belt, my studded wristbands, and my silver ball necklace. and then I made his hair all poofed on his head. It looked pretty sweet. Fun fun fun night... It was so funny to see everyone dressed 80's. Some of the guys had on really short shorts... that was really scary... so WRONG! I should post pics on here too... they are already up on myspace and facebook tho. YES! he he.
So today was Sunday... I started feeling kinda sick around 2. But then I had to go to the Stirring Kids at 4. So I went and it was fun being around the kids and I ended up feeling better by the time the Stirring started. I found the message encouraging considering that it was about encouragement. Really tho... Nate called people that are discouraging/negative "adders" and he used his hand like a viper thing with his hand to display this. I was laughing kinda loud, but it was so funny. I am glad that I don't have negative people in my life anymore. I like being around people who like to have fun and/or love God. I like to smile and positive people make me smile. :) yay! ok bye bye.

Darla

ok so today

today, was kind of a typical Thursday were I woke up late and then watched TV and randomly looked at stuff online. I didn't really feel like doing in school work. even tho i probably should. Tomorrow. I guess. So I tried to make steps in the job pursuit by calling Walmart and IHSS, but both of them aren't hiring until later. So I think I need to look elsewhere. Any suggestions on where to look? I reapplied for Hollywood Video too. I am not sure if I wanna stay in Redding all summer. it gets really hot and it will kinda suck. I need to be on my own tho. I am 23 years old and living with my parents this summer-- is not the ideal situation. I am excited to go home for Easter that will be fun. I haven't been home since January 5th. I think it is the longest that I have gone without going home. And last time I saw my parents was at graduation on Jan. 12th. so it has been awhile. I am looking forward to it. Ok later. I hope people actually read this.

blogspot has issues

so i guess blogspot decided to do something with Google and I can't log on to my old blogspot blog. which very few people read anyways. so I made a new account and transferred over my old blogs. my old account was http://darlageiger.blogspot.com and my new one is here http://darlamaygeiger.blogspot.com. so you can read my blogs here. I am thinking of doing kinda what I did on Xanga back in the day and writing everyday. I will post occassionally on myspace too. so please please read my blogspot blogs too. I am gonna try and do different blogs on each one. Like not about the same things. At some point myspace turned into just me posting poetry and writing so I will probably keep it that way and have updates about blogspot blogs. And you don't have to have a blogspot to leave comments on it either.