Current mood:
confused There is a valley and I am in the middle. On one side, stands the Christian world. Jesus is there and God too, oh and the Holy Spirit. They have this gift of purity and they say that they love me. But then some mean and judgmental people stand firmly on their side. They claim to be a friend of God. But I feel as if I should be closer to him. I am not mean or judgmental. The other side stands the rest of the world. They don't have an agenda for me to live by. Live and be free. Do as you please. Go drink, party, have sex, take drugs. They love me too and they aren't judging me. And they throw really good parties. I like going to parties. They are kinda alluring with all their mystery and excitement. And here I am in the middle. A pretty strange place to be. One side makes me feel really guilty... and I know it isn't God that makes me feel guilty it is them. But I have started to realize that no one is perfect. Sometimes I swear some of these "rules" are just to control me. I don't want to be controlled either. I wish I had that freedom to do everything that I wish. But religion is holding me back. Don't get me wrong. I am very much still standing here in the middle. I totally still believe in God and that Jesus is God etc.... you know all that stuff. Just the middle is a bad place to stand. I feel like I have been standing here for awhile. I feel like I am kinda trapped. Well back to wandering in the valley. Let me know how you are doing up there on your side.
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