Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Belonging
Have you ever felt like you don't really belong with any group of people? I kinda feel that way right now. Guilt settles in to a point were I almost feel like I have done too many bad things to be a part of some Christian circles. I mean I am not this cookie cutter Christian that does everything right. I am just not. I have had too many short comings and mishaps to feel connected to another girl that has never had a boyfriend and always does the right thing. I hear these girls say things like that they are never gonna get married or wait until they are really serious with a guy to even kiss him. Man I wish I was in that spot. But I can't be. And I feel almost sinful just for thinking that. Because their ideas sound so perfect and mine sound flawed. Then on the other end I don't fit in with these girls that are waiting for the next party and the next hook up. Sex is okay and encouraged. Over the summer I was trying to be that girl too. It never really clicked though. God is still a huge part of my life, but I am nowhere near perfect either. Can anyone out there identify? Does anyone else feel caught in the middle of two completely different world, but can't relate to either? Is anyone on my side?
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2 comments:
i don't really want to get in a religious debate with you, but i feel as though the girls that follows the rules of a book, is a shame to our race they are losing out on so much education maybe not through school but through out life experiences you should be proud of the fact of what you've done you know so much more then those girls that hide behind their religion. Its really a shame you are trying to fit in people that will judge you upon what you've done, you need to branch out. it's my theory of life how do you not like it if you haven't tried it?
Take care but i know you always got friends down here!
Darla, there's no such thing as a cookie cutter Christian. Everyone has their flaws & hurts they carry even if they aren't always apparent.
As for fitting in, I've never felt like I fit in. I never had friends until Jr. High, I've never had a bf & so many people make fun of me for that & want to "fix it".
I hope you never think that I am judging you just b/c you've done things that I wouldn't necessarily do myself.
I'm not sure if you meant me when you said you had a hard time connecting to someone who has never had a bf or always does the right thing, but even I do stupid things & I can guarantee that I've done the wrong thing many times.
You say you've had too many shortcomings & mishaps, but that's not true. The great thing about being a Christian is knowing that no sin is to big or too small to be forgiven.
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